The Bus Stop Of Misery

This morning I read an interesting comment that got me thinking. It read: "There is many a wife hungering for an occasional word of approval, who will be buried in a rosewood casket."

As I went to fix breakfast I began pondering the quote and I thought of how futile it would be to sit at the curb of a street that had no bus service and wait for days, weeks maybe even months for a bus that just doesn't come there. If someone did that we would look at them and probably wag our heads and say that they have lost their minds. But women who waste their mental energy in expecting something that is not part of their husbands character is like waiting for a bus that isn't coming. Why wait for something that won't happen?

A woman may ask: "Well then how do we get our sense of self worth? How are we suppose to feel better about ourselves?" I think the first thing to do is to set a right example for him to follow and begin looking at his virtues and make our focus what HE does that is good and right and worthy of a compliment. Tell him that we appreciate his efforts to do something that is good. Every man has his virtues. Think on those and make mention of them. This one thing will actually do two things. It will stop our own negative thoughts and replace them with contented thoughts. And it will gradually change our husband as he sees a sweet, kind, gentle person. By beholding our kindness he will become kind and thoughtful.

Second, don't expect your husband to be the source of all your happiness. In other words make God your God instead of your husband being your God. Jesus loved you so much that he came and died for you. He wants to give you everlasting happiness in heaven. Out of all the huge universe He is a whisper away and is ready to listen to your chatter all day long. He wants to tenderly care for you and can fill that need you feel is lacking from a husband. He will give you wisdom to know how to speak to your husband and will help you bind your affections to your husband even if he doesn't meet every expectation you have. Find an old favorite hymn or learn a new one or a scripture song from off the internet and begin singing a song to the One that is always there to help.

Third, let us remember that no one wants to draw closer to a grump or a complainer. Treat your husband as you would a cat. If I want to attract a cat to me I wouldn't get a squirt gun and squirt it every time it turned away from me. That would just make the cat run away all the faster. No. The way to attract a cat is to talk softly, gently and feed it things it likes. I would get down at the level of the cat and let it sniff my hand and pet it. I would do those things that the cat enjoys.